President Donald Trump, your wish is Stephen Colbert’s command.
On Monday’s edition of The Late Show on CBS, Colbert made like the Genie in Aladdin and granted Trump’s wish for “equal time” praising him and the Republican party.
Trump tweeted Saturday that late-night talk show hosts’ negative coverage of his presidency is playing into the Democratic party, and called the cracks at his expense “‘unfunny’ & repetitive material.”
So, in recognition of the president’s request for “equal time,” Colbert hosted a segment that leveled both criticism and praise at Trump. To pull it off, the comedian brought out a surprise guest—his former Daily Show boss Jon Stewart.
“I will do my usual unfair slamming of the president, and you will provide the counterweight,” Colbert instructed Stewart.
For his first quip, Colbert said: “Donald Trump thinks we should give equal time on a comedy show, even though the election is over. Kind of like if The Big Bang Theory was immediately followed by The Creationist Bazinga Fun Time Hour.”
Colbert turned to Stewart to pay a compliment about Trump, though the former Comedy Central star had a tough time thinking up what to say. “Can I have more time?” Stewart whispered to Colbert.
Ultimately Stewart settled on: “Donald Trump… is not… a cannibal.”
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Colbert said: “Last week, we learned that Donald Trump’s own Secretary of State called him a ‘******* moron.’ Not only is that an insult, he gave away Trump’s Secret Service code name.”
And it was back over to Stewart, who looked a little more prepared for his next platitude. If you can call it that. “Given the choice between having hot lava poured into my pee hole and Donald Trump being president…I choose laaa--” Stewart said before being cut off by Colbert, who reminded him to be “positive.” Stewart decided “the latter,” but it was a close call.
After Colbert made a joke about Trump’s face acting as birth control for women, Stewart teed up his third compliment about Trump. “I’m in the groove now,” he began.
Stewart declared: “Donald Trump is great to women.” Colbert questioned, “Great?” prompting Stewart to change his opinion to “good.” Still, “Good?” pressed Colbert. That led to Stewart’s punchline: “Better than Harvey Weinstein,” he said referring to the disgraced Hollywood producer who was fired from the production company he ran Sunday following several allegations of sexual harassment against women.
In the end, it was hard for Stewart to show anything but disdain for the president after Colbert showed footage of Trump ominously calling a photo opportunity with military leaders the “calm before the storm.”
“What is wrong with this guy?” Stewart said incredulously. “‘Calm before the storm?’ How is all this not the storm? This is all the storm.
“And what kind of sociopath would use that kind of terminology when people are still literally cleaning up from storms,” he added, referring to the devastation caused by Hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Maria.