Double Cross Don does it again!
Thrice now President Trump has struck a dirty deal with devious Democrats, thwarting the good governance of fellow Republicans and betraying the alliance of voters who sent him to the White House where they hoped he would just behave like a good, proper professional Republican.
No, scratch that. Where they hoped he would maintain creaking partisan gridlock along the Potomac. No, wait. What was the lesson of last year's election again?
The swamp has forgotten - yet again! - the lesson of last year's election. Voters did not elect a conservative. They did not elect a loyal Republican. They rejected all the most seasoned and experienced politicians in the race. All 20 of them. And 16 of those were Republicans.
Instead, voters elected a politically incorrect, trash-talking, vulgar, brash professional wrestling character to come to Washington and perform piledrivers, facebusters, suplex powerslams, backbreakers and moonsaults on every pro politician he could find in the ring. Under the ring. Even hiding in the stands. And especially those holding microphones posing as "the media."
And, boy, Mr. Trump has not disappointed!
That is not to say that his supporters want amnesty for illegal immigrants, more government involvement in their health care or mountains of more debt dumped onto the heads of their children and grandchildren. But those are the risks voters assumed when they sent the non-partisan raging bull into the Potomac china shop.
And let's face it, all the squalling and caterwauling from "conservatives" in Washington (an oxymoron if there ever was one!) is getting a little tiresome.
Let's take debt for example.
Mr. Trump struck a deal with Democrats that punted the debt "ceiling" to the end of the year.
Heresy! Unprincipled! Fiscal suicide!
Republicans are spitting furious that after six months of hopelessly trying to work with the GOP to pass a more conservative agenda, Mr. Trump has turned to Democrats. And to make such a mockery of Republican's long, principled fight for fiscal responsibility by punting on the debt "ceiling!"
Oh really? What a bunch of smelly, rotten snake oil salesmen.
On January 3, 1995, when "conservative" Republicans rode a huge wave to take over both houses of Congress, they began to enforce a debt "ceiling" to finally put an end to profligate government spending that threatened the future of America. That is what they told us.
On that day, the nation debt stood at $4.798 trillion.
There was a Democrat in the White House, but six years later voters would replace that Democrat with a Republican, George W. Bush, who would serve eight years.
By the time Mr. Bush - a Republican in the "conservative" party - left office, the national debt stood at $10.626 trillion, more than doubling the debt from the day Republicans took control of Congress and instituted their debt "ceiling."
That $5.8 trillion stolen from our children and grandchildren paid for two wars, tax cuts without spending cuts, Hurricane Katrina and Medicare Part D, the largest expansion of an existing entitlement program in U.S. history.
So much for a debt "ceiling."
It was more like a debt "smoke machine." Or a debt "hot air balloon." Or maybe a debt "hydrogen bomb."
And now these scoundrels slink around shrieking and shriveling up because Mr. Trump made a dirty little deal with Democrats and ruined their secret sacred weapon, the debt "ceiling."
Give me a break. These people are lucky they aren't getting locked up. If you put that up for a vote, it would win both the popular vote and the Electoral College.
Anyway, the real reason these swamp vermin are so upset with Mr. Trump is not that he threatens to dump trillions more in debt on our children. Rather, they are only upset because in doing so, he created a politically awkward situation for them.
See, they wanted a solution that allowed them to kick the debt "ceiling" can way down the road. You know, past the next election, which is the only thing anybody around here actually cares about.
Now Republicans face another humiliating game of chicken over their debt "ceiling" versus shutting down the government just as they are all kicking off their re-election campaigns. And every time, it is Republicans who start clucking like chickens and the poor innocent taxpaying turkeys who get stuck with the bill.
It is the opposite of "Hotel California." You cannot check in, but you never stop paying the bill.
• Charles Hurt can be reached at email@example.com and on Twitter, @charleshurt.